


We Had Time (ramblings from your mum)

by ughfitz (wokemeup)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: FitzSimmons Secret Santa, Gen, Motherhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:20:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28433790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wokemeup/pseuds/ughfitz
Summary: A series of short notes (ramblings) from Jemma to Alya written during their 'we had time' space adventures.A FitzSimmons Secret Santa Gift for @beth-is-rainpaint on Tumblr. Prompt: Filling in the gaps of we had time
Relationships: Alya Fitz & Jemma Simmons, Alya Fitz & Leo Fitz, Alya Fitz & Leo Fitz & Jemma Simmons, Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 12
Kudos: 20





	1. We had time...to think about you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rainpaint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainpaint/gifts).



> Hello! *Insert I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.gif here* Oh, goodness! It's been a bit since I last posted anything.
> 
> I wasn't actually planning on writing more than the first note, but I guess I inspired myself a bit and wrote just a touch more. This is a gift for my 2020 Tumblr FS Secret Santa, @beth-is-rainpaint! I hope you enjoy this series of very short ramblings! 
> 
> If you'd like to see the companion piece to this (a digital scrapbook), click [here](https://ughfitz.tumblr.com/wehadtime)!
> 
> I'd like to say that any mistakes are a stylized choice (i.e., Jemma is writing in the moment and she's not always 100% perfect), but it's really just my own errors!

Alya,

You are but a small bump beneath my shirt, the only visible proof we have that you exist, and I love you with all my being. The vast expanse of ten thousand galaxies couldn’t begin to contain even a smidgen of the love I feel for you.

I’m not the greatest at expressing myself – your father can attest to that – but I feel compelled to write down my thoughts anyway. As a scientist, I know that my hormones are all over the place right now, and as a result, my words are far more vibrant than I’m used to writing in reports. Hormones or no, all that I have to share with you is precisely what I am feeling at this moment, and darling, I am feeling so much. 

We have quite a bit of time on our hands, and yet we have no time at all. We have long since crossed the event horizon, and now we are speeding towards a world in which I cannot fathom existing without you. I am so, so, so very excited to meet you. 

Love you always, 

Mum x


	2. We had time...to miss things

Alya,

I miss our family, I miss the sun, I miss...a decently brewed cup of tea, and I would  _ kill _ (not literally) for a decent biscuit. I’ve done my waiting before, so this is nothing new, at least. 

We’re stuck in this ship  – you, me, your father, and your Uncle Enoch  – and I’m worried we’ll never get out. Despite those fears, please know that we will do our best to protect you, and we will always fight for you. 

I hope you will forgive me for the short note; I simply must find something to suppress this sweet tooth you are demanding (you get your appetite from your father, I see). 

My little monkey, I cannot wait to meet you, but stay safe and warm until I do. 

Love you always, 

Mum x


	3. We had time...to celebrate your arrival

Alya,

You are here, and you are so beyond magnificent. I love you, I love you, I love you! 

Love you always, 

Mum xx 


	4. We had time...to worry

Alya,

I’ve been staring at the same patch of stars for the last hour, though I don’t believe I could tell you their names. My mind’s been a bit preoccupied. 

There’s some uncertainty surrounding your future,  _ our _ future. That said, I do hope (fruitlessly shout out at the cosmos, sometimes) that we will reunite with the others of our time and that you will not carry the burden of growing up in a hopeless future surrounded by a neverending vastness of space. 

My words may sound sad, but they are real. I’ve traveled the world, I’ve crossed time and space, and nothing has been as magnificent as you. Your father is a close second, but seeing as you are half him, I don’t believe he’ll begrudge me for the order. You, my sweetheart, are my everything. I fear for your safety, I fear for your well-being, and I fear that this journey you are just beginning will be cut far too short. 

Though my fears are there, I once learned that living  _ in  _ fear is no way to live. Alya, no matter what happens, my sincerest hope is that you do not live in fear. Take those worries and use them as motivation, but do not let them consume you. Live with hope. I’m trying to live by my own words, but some days are harder than others. 

There’s this silly saying I’ve come to live by: The steps you take don't need to be big. They just need to take you in the right direction. Sometimes, fear will feel like it is too much, but just take one brave step, and I know that you will make it. Fight hard, my sweet girl, and know that I love you so. 

Love you always, 

Mum xx 


	5. We had time...to rant about your father

Alya,

I love your father, honestly. He’s been my best friend for a very long time, but some days that pasty man gets on my last nerve. All it took was  _ one _ dirty nappy, and he had a meltdown about the sanctity of a clean lab (as though you could even constitute what we have as being an actual lab). 

I’m sure one day you’ll feel the same way. Just know that he means well (I say this to remind myself) and that he loves you. 

So, even if he complains about what messes you may make (ignore all complaints about a silly cat liver), continue making them because he and I will always be there to help you clean up. 

We both love you. Even when we drive you mad and you do the same to us. 

Love you always, 

Mum x


	6. We had time...to look at the stars

Alya,

When I was a little girl, your grandfather took me out to look at the stars, and I fell in love. There was so much up there, and I felt so small but so alive. How exciting that we get to live in a world where there’s so much beauty to explore and discover!

Of course, over the years, I’ve learned the hidden dangers in that beauty and all the scary monsters it contains. But let me share a little secret with you: those scary unknowns lead to beautiful discoveries that fill your soul with brilliant and buzzing electricity that is so very exciting. 

When you question whether something is worth the ride, I hope you learn to leap and take the chance. In my own experience, bounding past those concerns is very much worth it. 

Tonight, we brought you up to the front to look out at the stars, and I fell in love again. Your wonder, your laugh, your absolute joy is a moment I will never forget. 

No matter how you decide to spend your life (whether it be a scientist, a teacher, an artist, or beyond), I cannot even begin to tell you how much I look forward to seeing you fall in love with what you do. 

My sweet girl, you are like shimmering stars that I fall in love with more and more with each passing day. 

Love you always, 

Mum x


	7. We had time...but now we don't

Alya,

I will be leaving you soon, and I’m not sure if I can do it. I don’t want to do it, but I know we need to do it. 

There is so much I still want to share with you and your father. 

I love you. I will always love you. 

Hold your hand up to your heart. Do you feel it beating? Know that with each ebb and flow, I am there with you. Whether we are with one another in person or a million miles apart, I will always be with you. 

When you feel the sun warming you up, know that it's me hugging you.

When you hear the breeze whirl around you, know that it’s me whispering words of encouragement to you. 

When you look up at the moon, know that I am there, shining a light to help guide you on your path. 

I love you so much, my little monkey. Please know that I will do everything in my power to come back to you. 

Love you always, 

Mum xx


	8. We had time...to keep promises

Alya, 

I promised you I’d come back to you, didn’t I? 

Love you always, 

Mum x


	9. We have time

Fitz,

We did it!

You came back for me...came back for us. 

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again. You are my life, my heart, my home. I am so glad you’ve been beside me through it all (what was it that you said? _You’ve been_ _beside me the whole damn time)_ , and I can’t wait to learn and discover more with you and Alya by our side. I’m excited for this next part of our lives. 

I love you.  _ We _ love you. 

Love you always, 

Jemma x

P.S. Alya says she’d love for you to read her just one more story before bed. I think we have plenty of time for another adventure, don’t you?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for checking this out, kudos and comments are always appreciated. 
> 
> Feel free to follow me, [@ughfitz](https://ughfitz.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr!


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